Tuesday, July 29, 2008

More Yoga Ramblings! ~Yes again!

This is a few weeks in a row..... Today yoga as usual was an amazing experience. I can't say positive, but eye opening. Today we did an energy releasing move, I can't remember the name, However, I am just going to call it, Opening the Flood Gates! Teach came in today and I would have thought that she has been a fly on my wall, reading my email and my mind. (Haven't I said this before) She said that sometimes we just have to be with whatever it is we are feeling, we don't always practice yoga to feel good. Really?!?! ;) I managed to get through class and actually did feel pretty focused. Then, after class she gave us an article you can read here. This really hit home with me, because what I am experiencing right now in my life(and have for many many years). Then I got home and started reading Pema Chodron's article, my first instinct was to flee.. find something anything to make me feel better. However, as I read the article Pema wrote of allowing yourself to 'be' with whatever it is you are at the moment, so you see, I didn't dial up the nearest shopping website, or hit the kitchen or anything else. I sat in quite and allowed myself to feel the rush coming from the flood gates. Humm.. this I must say is much different than anything I have ever done before. My first instinct is to find something to avoid this 'uncomfortable hurt' and move on. For today, I just allowed it to be. I didn't fight it. I felt it (as Pema said 'feel the itch') it was not easy, it didn't feel good, but amazingly enough, I made it through, and I have lost nothing that I thought I would except a bit of the 'weight' (not on the scale I am sorry to say) I have been carrying for many, many years! I have had a realization that I don't 'need' anyone else to find peace with this sitituation, I just need to be with it, make it my friend instead of fighting it. Today I am merging with 'the flood gates' and perhaps I have reached a turning point. No dwelling, just being, me!

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